


It's My Job

by SterekandMcDannoShipr



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 10:20:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7570441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SterekandMcDannoShipr/pseuds/SterekandMcDannoShipr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam doesn't know what really happened to Andy in the warehouse until he reads her statement.  How does he deal with it when he finds out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam sat with Jerry going over the statements and logging in the recovered weapons.  He was thinking about what he had said to Andy in the lot an hour before.  _You're my responsibility.  I don't want anything to happen to you._   He sighed and shook his head.   _Why does it have to be so damn hard with her?_ The answer was because he didn't do feelings and she was with Callaghan.  At the rate Jerry was going with the statements he'd be there all night.  "Hey buddy!  You want me to look over those statements?"

Jerry knew there was no way Sam should see them, especially Andy's.  He clearly didn't know what the guy had done to her, although it could've been a lot worse.  "No.  I'm good with these.  Thanks for helping log the weapons though.  It may have been a screwed up way to get there but at least Epstein and McNally are ok and the guns are off the street."

Sam dry scrubbed his face as he nodded.  "Yeah.  They're lucky."  He sighed and ran his hands over his face again.  "I was a little hard on them."

Jerry smiled and looked at him sideways.  "Them or just McNally?''  Sam smirked and shook his head.  Jerry knew him too well.  "I'm going to get coffee.  You want some?"

Sam nodded as he looked over the logs again to make sure everything was right.  "Sure.  Thanks."  He watched Jerry try to discreetly shove the statements under a stack of papers before walking out.  He couldn't understand why he would do that.  He leaned over and pulled them out  He read over Epstein's first, there wasn't anything in it he didn't already know.  Then he read Andy's and he nearly threw up.  Jerry walked in as he slammed his fist onto the desk.

Jerry yanked the papers out of his hand.  "Sammy!"

He jumped up in Jerry's face.  " _Why the hell didn't you tell me?"_

Jerry sighed and stepped back.  "Brother, she didn't want you to know.  You were already mad at her.  So…"  Sam cursed and stormed out.  "Sammy!"  Jerry knew that Sam wouldn't come back.  _Damn it! I'm sorry Andy, I tried._

Andy was sitting on her sofa in the dark.  It had been a long day and she just wanted to forget everything that had happened.  Luke was still working on the case of the kid that had been found stabbed.  Who knew when or if he'd be home that night?  She'd gotten used to being alone, except tonight she wished she wasn't.  She thought over the events of the day.  She blew the hooker thing, disappointed Sam and Boyko, almost got Sadie and herself killed, but the worst part was the guy touching her.  She had given her statement to Jerry so she wouldn't have to see the look on Sam's face, even though it could've been a lot worse.

She shook off the thoughts and sat there in the silence.  She had tried to keep the tears at bay but they finally broke through.  She was thankful that she was alive and that the assault had only been minor.  If Dov hadn't come in when he did….who knows.  And then there was Sam.  He had been really upset with her.  She remembered him throwing his hands up and saying _I don't want anything to happen to you._   She sighed, thankfully he didn't know.

All of a sudden there was someone banging loudly on her door.  She jumped at the sound.  Then the last voice she expected to hear.  "ANDY!  ANDY OPEN THE DOOR!  I KNOW YOU'RE HOME!"

He broke several traffic laws driving to her house.  He knew he was taking a chance that Luke might be there but he didn't care.  He needed to know why she hadn't told him everything that happened.  Now he found himself banging on her door, yelling at her.

She slowly opened the door and he pushed his way in.  She said quietly.  "Sure.  Come on in."

He stormed into the living room and paced back and forth until she came back.  "What the hell Andy?"

She looked at him confused.  "I…What?"

He stepped up to her and took her by the arms, tightly, anger boiling over.   _"Why didn't you tell me?"_

She looked shocked.  "Tell you what Sam?"

He let her go and started pacing again.  _"Don't!  Don't do that with me!  Do NOT act like nothing happened!  I read your statement!"_

She was cursing Jerry now.  He had promised to keep Sam from seeing it.  "Sam, it's ok."

He stopped and stared at her, mouth open in disbelief.  " _Ok?  Ok?"_ Did she really just say that?  " _Andy, he assaulted you!  THAT is NOT ok.  Why didn't you tell me?"_

Tears rolling down her cheeks.  "Because I screwed up Sam, the whole day.  I know I disappointed you and Boyko.  I just didn't…I didn't want you to know how…badly it went in there."

He shook his head.  "Where's Callaghan?"

She looked at him funny.  "Still working on his homicide case I guess.  Why?"

He took in a deep breath.  "Does he know?"  She nodded.  "Really?  You told him and not me?  I'm your _partner Andy_.  _And_ he left you alone?"

She nodded again.  "I told him I was fine."

He slammed his fist into the wall.  "Damn it Andy!"  She jumped at his outburst.  She was at a loss for what to say so she stood there looking down at the floor.  He closed the gap between them and quietly said.  "Andy, look at me."  She shook her head.  He put his hands on her arms and she jumped.  He sucked in a breath. _Was she afraid of him? Afraid he would hurt her?_ He let her go.  "Andy, I'm sorry for yelling.  Please just look at me."  He sounded more emotionally raw than ever.  She didn't want him to see her crying.  She wiped her cheeks and took a deep breath, looking up into his eyes.   _Damn it Swarek!_ "I'm _sorry._  I…"  He reached out to touch her again then remembered how she had reacted before.  "Andy, I wouldn't hurt you, _ever."_

She looked at him confused and said quietly.  "I know."

He reached towards her.  "You jumped when I touched you."

She wiped her eyes again, "You caught me off guard."  Shaking her head. "I'm sorry."

He didn't know what to do.  "Don't you trust me anymore?"

She was surprised at his question.  "Of course Sam.  Why would you ask that?"

He wrung his hands together.  "Because you didn't tell me."

She looked away. "I didn't want….I didn't want you to look at me like that." She sat down on her sofa.

 _How was he looking at her?_ He sat down on the coffee table in front of her. "Andy, I…I…"

She wished he would just say it, whatever it was. She couldn't take it. "What Sam?"

He ran his hands over his face. _This shouldn't be so damn difficult._ He reached for her hand and she let him take it. "I care about what happens to you."

She smiled a little, "I know you feel responsible because you're my T.O."

He shook his head. "I do feel responsible because of that but it's more than that Andy. You know that." She nodded. "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending, keep hiding how I feel. I just need you to know… I need you to know it's more, _much_ more for me." He took her face in his hands and kissed her softly. He slowly pulled her into a standing position, wrapping her in his arms. She responded to his touch, his kisses. He finally pulled back. "What you do with it is up to you."

Then they heard the door open. Luke was home. "Andy? You up? Whose truck is that?"

Sam let her go and walked away. "Callaghan." He nodded. "Just checking on McNally." And he walked out.


	2. Chapter 2

It'd been three weeks since he told her, _three weeks_ and _nothing_ from her.  He was sitting in parade listening to Frank and watching her.  He should've known better but he couldn't hold it in anymore.  In some ways he felt better but others he felt like an idiot.  "Alright coppers.  Serve, Protect and get home safe.  McNally you're with Swarek, Epstein with Shaw, Diaz and Peck on desk, and Nash you're with Williams today.  Be careful."

Everyone walks out.  Sam sighed and followed Oliver out to get coffee.   _I can't take another day of silence from her._  Epstein walked up to chat.  "Epstein, you're with me today."

They all looked at him.  Dov had a slight case of hero worship when it came to Swarek but would never go against Frank's partnering.  "But sir…"

Sam scowls and practically yelled.  "Are you hard of hearing?  You're with me.  Shaw can have McNally."

Andy felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach.  He hadn't spoken to her since that day.  She knew it was her fault.  She let him walk out the door and hadn't said anything since.  He didn't even know that she'd broken up with Luke.  She'd just been trying to figure to out what to say to him.

Sam made himself a coffee and left with Dov trailing behind.  Oliver stood there looking from Andy to Sam.  He knew what had happened but he didn't know what to do about it.  He patted Andy on the shoulder.  "Come on McNally."  He thinks to himself, _this is going to be a long day._ She only spoke when she had to and when they got back to the barn she went straight to the locker room.

She changed and rode with Traci to the Penny, watching the door off and on waiting for him to come in.  She thought maybe tonight would be the night.  Everyone was there now, her friends at their usual table and Jerry and the T.O.'s claiming their spot at the bar.  After an hour she gave up, clearly he wasn't coming in.  Jerry had made his way over to see Traci and he stopped in mid-sentence staring at the door, mouth open.  Traci was glaring and Andy followed their line of sight to see Sam walking in with his arm around a beautiful blonde.

He pulled out a stool for Monica next to his friends and then sat beside her at the bar.  Oliver wanted to kick him.  He smiled and spoke to Monica.  Then he spoke quietly to Sam.  "What the _hell_ are you doing brother?"

Sam smiled, not a real smile, the _I'm hurting and trying to hide it by being an ass_ smile.  "Moving on Ollie, would've thought you'd be happy."

He sighed and shook his head.  "You're an ass.  You didn't have to bring her here.  Andy doesn't deserve that."

Sam ignored his friend and turned back to the blonde beside him.  He caught a glimpse of Andy as she ran out the door; he could see she was crying.  He did feel like an ass but he couldn't turn back now.  Traci ran into him and glared at him as she ran after Andy.  Andy ran and didn't stop for miles.  Traci went back to the Penny after looking for an hour.

Jerry was standing at the bar with his friends when she came back.  "Did you find her?"

She was staring a hole in Sam.  "No.  She's gone and won't answer her phone."  She stepped up to Sam.  "I hope you're happy.  For your sake, she _better_ be ok."  Traci continued to call Andy with no luck.  She even went by her house again and she still wasn't there.

When Andy couldn't run anymore she took a taxi to Cherry Beach.  It was her favorite place to go to think.  She had found a cove there when she was a kid, it was really secluded and no one would find her.  She broke down crying, turned her phone off and cried herself to sleep.

Traci called Andy all night and got nothing but her voicemail.  She went by her house again on the way to work but she still wasn't there and hadn't been all night.  Swarek better hope she showed up soon.

Sam noticed Traci was alone as she walked into the station.  If looks could kill he'd be dead right now.  He knew that he had screwed up, no one needed to tell him that.  Although Oliver seemed to think it was his job this morning and Jerry wouldn't even look at him.  He sat in the back of the room waiting for her to come running in late as usual.

Oliver leaned over to Traci.  "Have you heard from her?"

Traci shook her head.  "Ollie, I'm worried.  She didn't go home last night and now her phone isn't on."

He sighed.  "What about her dad?"

She shook her head again.  "He hasn't seen her or heard from her either.  I know it's only been a few hours but I'm worried.  Jerry and I went looking for her after we left the Penny last night.  I've checked hotels, hospitals, and every other place I can think of she'd go, nothing."

Oliver patted her on the back as he glared at Sam.  "I'm sure she just needs some time.  We'll find her."

Three days later they were all sitting in the Parade room, still no sign of Andy.  Frank was getting worried.  "Has anyone heard anything?"  Head shakes all around.  "We keep looking."  Sam was a mess.  He hadn't spoken to anyone in two days.  He spent every free minute he had on and off duty looking for her.  "Shaw, Nash, All you're doing today is looking for her."  They nodded.  "Ok.  Let's get out there."

Sam stayed in the parade room looking at the floor.  He hadn't had a partner since she disappeared.  No one wanted to ride with him right now and he couldn't blame them.  He saw Frank stop and talk to Luke.  "Have you seen Andy?"

Luke shook his head.  "No.  I've been at headquarters for the last week.  Why?"

Frank sighed.  "She hasn't shown up for work in a few days.  We're a little worried."

Luke caught a glimpse of Sam.  "Sorry Frank.  We broke up over a week ago.  I wouldn't know what to tell you."

Sam choked out a breath.  W _hat?  Why hadn't she told him?_ He ran out the back door to his truck.  He looked for hours at every place he could think of and then he remembered she liked to go to Cherry Beach sometimes.  He drove out there and looked up and down the beach, about to give up when he saw a small opening in the trees.  He walked closer and saw that it led back a little ways.  He followed the path into a cove area and was surprised at how big it was.  He searched and searched almost giving up when he heard movement.  "Andy?"  No response just more movement.  He followed the sound and found her lying on a makeshift bench wrapped up in a blanket.  He knelt beside her and lightly touched her arm.  "Andy?"

She barely moved and spoke softly.  "Go away Sam."  Her eyes were horribly swollen from crying.  "Please just leave me alone.  You made your point."

He felt like she had hit him.  "Andy, we've been worried about you.  Have you been here this whole time?"

Still not opening her eyes.  "Why do you care?  Go back to the blonde and leave me alone."  Sam reached out to touch her and she screamed.  "NO!  Don't touch me!"  She swung at him as she sat up.

He fell back, hands up, shocked at her reaction.  "Andy!  Hey!"

She was standing now, gasping.  When she spoke Sam's heart ripped out.  " _Get the hell away from me.  I never want to see you again."_

He held up his hands again, heart racing.  "Andy, please let me explain."

She looked terrifying right now.  "I don't care what you have to say Sam.  I _hate_ you and I _never_ want to see you again.  LEAVE!"

He could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks.  "No.  You're going to listen to me.  Andy, I'm sorry.  You didn't deserve what I did.  I was hurt and stupid and I never meant to hurt you.  You _have_ to believe me."

She was shaking her head violently.  "No!  No!  You don't do that to someone you care about Sam.  You bring her into the Penny and walk her around in front of our friends.  How did you think I was going to feel?"

He hung his head.  "I _wasn't_ thinking.  Andy, you haven't talked to me since that night at your place.  What was I supposed to think?  And then I have to hear _Callaghan_ tell Frank that you guys broke up _over a week ago._ "

She threw her hands up.  "So what?  You just decide to prance some random woman in front of me to…what… teach me a lesson?  I got it.  You can leave now.  You'll never have to worry about me again."

Sam sucked in a breath.  He didn't like the way she was talking.  "Andy, I did it because I was hurt.  I thought you had made your decision and…I…I just didn't know what else to do.  She's just a friend, an old friend but that's all."  He ran his hands over his face.  "I'm not leaving you.  My feelings haven't changed.  You have to believe me."

She shook her head and spoke softly.  "How can I after last night?"

Sam looked at her confused.  "Last night?  Andy, you've been missing for three days."

She looked at him confused.  "What?"

He nodded.  "You've been gone for three days."

She looked around, shaking her head.  "But…I… I just came here and fell asleep for a little while.  _Three days?_ "

Sam nodded and approached her slowly.  "The whole station has been looking for you.  _I_ have been looking _everywhere_ for you."  He stepped closer to her and reached for her.  She didn't pull away this time, just stood there looking very confused.  He ran his hands up and down her arms.

She looked up at him.  "Sam?"

She started crying and he pulled her to him, holding her tight.  "Shh!  It's ok.  Andy, it's ok."  She leaned into him and let him hold her.  She always felt safe in his arms.  He held her for a few minutes.  "Come on.  I'll take you home."  She let him help her to the car.  He drove her home and helped her inside.  "Why don't you take a shower while I cook you something to eat?"  She nodded and went upstairs.  He took a quick minute to call Jerry and Oliver.

Oliver was sitting in the kitchen with Zoe when his phone rang.  He wasn't going to answer it until Zoe gave him a look.  "He's been an idiot but he's still your best friend."

Oliver nodded and sighed.  "Shaw?"

Sam sighed at his best friends tone.  "I know I'm the last person you want to talk to right now but I thought you'd want to know I found her."

Oliver sat up straight.  "What?  Where?  Is she ok?"

Sam rubbed his face.  "She was at Cherry Beach and she's pretty out of it.  She's up in the shower right now."  He could hear it running.

Oliver sighed with relief.  "That's great brother.  What are you going to do now?"

He sat down on her sofa.  "I'm going to stay, stay as long as she needs or wants me.  I'll call Jerry so he can let Nash know."

Oliver was happy and relieved.  "I'll call Jerry and everyone else brother.  You just look after her."

Sam wasn't going to argue.  "Ok.  Thanks buddy."  After he hung up with Oliver he called Frank to let him know he'd found her.  "Frank, I'm going to take a couple of days.  I've got to…to take care of her and she's not exactly ready to come back yet."

Frank was happy to hear Andy was ok.  "Ok Sammy.  I'll take care of everything.  I'm glad she's ok and good luck."

Realizing he was still in his uniform he ran out to his truck and grabbed his bag.  He ordered a pizza, changed in the bathroom downstairs, and then walked up the stairs to check on Andy.  He knocked on her door.  "Andy, I'm coming in."

He heard her say.  "Ok."

He walked in to find her sitting on her bed wrapped in a towel.  She looked a little better.  "I ordered a pizza."

She nodded.  "Ok.  Thanks."  She had her brush in her hand.

Sam hated seeing her like this.  She couldn't have slept well while she was out there.  He pointed to her brush.  "Want me to help with that?"

She looked down and nodded.  "Thanks.  I just don't have the energy right now."  He took the brush and sat down behind her.  He slowly brushed her hair.  When he finished she took his arms and wrapped them around her.  "Will you just hold me Sam?"

He pulled her close and buried his face in her hair.  She turned sideways and buried her face in his neck.  "I'm so sorry Andy."  He kissed the top of her head.  She didn't say anything.  He thought she'd fallen asleep.

She spoke softly.  "I'm sorry too.  I just didn't know what to do.  I was scared."

Sam shook his head.  "You have nothing to be sorry about Andy.  I should've handled it better.  I should've given you the time you needed."

She looked up at him.  "I…I've missed you.  I've missed us."

He wanted to kiss her so badly, kiss her and let her know that everything was going to be ok.  She ran her hand up around his neck and pulled him down to her.  Their lips touched and she sighed.  He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck tangling his fingers in her hair and kissed her passionately.  His heart thudded as they melted together.  The moment was ruined by the doorbell ringing.  His breath was ragged as he brushed his nose across hers and quietly said.  "It's the pizza."

She didn't want to let him go but knew he had to.  "I'll be down in a few minutes."

He kissed her again and ran to answer the door.  She came down a few minutes later in a t-shirt and boxers.  He thought she has never looked so beautiful.  They sat on the sofa eating and watching a basketball game.  After they ate Andy curled up next to him and he wrapped his arm around her as they watched TV for a while longer.

It felt good to have her beside him.  He kissed the top of her head and she moved over into his lap, running his fingers through her hair.  "You ok?"

She smiled softly.  "Yeah."  She kissed his cheek.  "I'm just a little tired."

He brushed his thumb across her cheek and kissed her nose.  "You should go upstairs and lay down."

The butterflies were on high alert in her stomach.  "What are you going to do?"

He shrugged.  "I'll clean up and watch TV or something."  She wanted to ask him to come with her but she was too nervous so she just nodded and he said.  "If you need me, I'll be right here."

She kissed him and said.  "Ok."

He watched her climb the stairs, her body language said she was hesitant.  There was nothing he wanted more than to go up there and hold her while she slept but he wouldn't unless she asked. He didn't want to push her. He went to the kitchen and cleaned up from their dinner, after few minutes he decided to go check on her. The door was cracked and the light was on when he rapped lightly. "Andy?"

She spoke softly, "Come in."

He pushed the door open and found her sitting up in bed. "You ok?" She nodded. He took a chance. "Want some company?" She nodded again. He went in and sat down next to her. She was already under the covers.

Andy reached over and took his hand. "Sam, will you stay tonight?"

He smiled and squeezed her hand gently. "Sure. I was going to sleep on the couch."

She shook her head and patted the bed. "Stay here."

He let out a shaky breath. "Ok. If that's what you want." She pulled back the covers and lay down. He climbed in beside her.

She giggled. "Sam, you _can't_ be comfortable in that."

He didn't know what to say. "I…I'll be fine."

She sighed and curled up next to him, running her hand up his shirt. He gasped a little. Her skin against his, she was so warm. He wrapped his arm around her, running his hand up and down her arm. She slowly ran her fingers up and down his chest drawing random patterns. It was driving him insane.

She could feel his heart beating faster. "Sam?"

He was completely relaxed from her touch. "Mmm. Hmm."

She tugged on him, pulling him towards her. He was pulled out of his trance, looking down to see her staring up at him. Her beautiful chocolate eyes trying to tell him something. He caressed her face. _God he wanted her. Is she trying to tell him the same thing?_ She pulled him into a kiss, catching off guard and pulling him over on top of her. _She's definitely telling me yes. But is it the right time?_

It's like she's reading his mind. She whispers, "Sammy!" a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Stop over thinking and kiss me."

He let out a little chuckle and brushed his nose across hers, hovering over her propped on one elbow. She snakes her fingers in to his hair as she kisses him. He held her close as they slowly kissed. She pulled his shirt over his head and kissed his shoulder s, chest, and neck. Sam growled, "Andy!" and he kissed her passionately, pressing himself against her.

She whispered in his ear, "I need you Sam."

 _How could he say no? He needed her as much as she needed him._ Much later they fell asleep in each other's arms, happy, knowing the world was right again.


	3. Chapter 3

He woke up the next morning feeling her warm body next to his. His hand was lying across her chest and he could feel her heartbeat. _How could I ever have screwed this up so much? She deserves so much better._ He whispered. " _I swear as long as I live I will never hurt you again_." He caressed her cheek and kissed the side of her head. A small smiled crossed her lips as she cuddled in closer. He watched her sleep as he thought of how he could love her for the rest of his life and it still wouldn't be long enough.

An hour later she started stirring. He smiled at her almost childlike look as she opened her eyes, peering up at him. She said quietly. "Hey."

He kissed the tip of her nose. "Hey. How did you sleep?"

She was still beaming at him. "Pretty good. You?"

He smiled softly. "Better than I have in a few days."

She looked sheepish. "I'm sorry..."

He stopped her with a kiss. "You have _nothing_ to be sorry about. I'm an ass, just ask Oliver." They chuckled. "Andy, I should've been more patient. We both know that's not my strong suit but I promise..."

She nodded. "I know."

He looked confused. "I haven't even said it yet."

She ran her fingers absently across his chest. "You'll never hurt me again as long as you live." She looked up into his eyes.

His breath caught. _She was awake._ He was... well he didn't know what he was; glad, scared, totally and completely in love with this amazing woman? He was going to do it differently this time. "You heard me?" She nodded shyly. "I meant every word." He shifted so he could see her better, so she could see him. "I know I screwed up." He sat up and turned to face her. Waving a hand between them. "All of this is a little new to me. Of course I've dated before, been in a few relationships but..." Looking down at his hands which were now holding hers. "I've never met anyone like you. I've never felt like this." He raised one of her hands and put it on his chest.

She sat up now. _Is he really doing this? Is he really putting all of his feelings out there for me?_ She moved in closer to him and pulled him in for a kiss. She caressed his cheek, looking into his eyes trying to let him know she understood. "I think we both could've handled this a little differently." She looked down at their hands. "You scare the _hell_ out of me Sam." He twitched.

He didn't quite know how to take that. "Andy..."

She shook her head. "Let me finish. I _always_ pick the easy way, the less messy way, someone that I could care about but still walk away from without being hurt. But with you it terrified me because I knew that if we were together and things went bad, you could crush me. I wasn't prepared for that."

Sam's heart hurt at her honesty. He felt the same way. "You have the same ability with me. I don't ever; have _never_ put my heart completely into any relationship. When you grow up like I did you learn to close yourself off from people so you don't get too close. There are only three people in my life I could say that really know me; Sarah, Shaw, and Barber. I don't want that with you, I can't promise it'll be easy but I want more. I want it all."

She smiled; his honesty scary and breathtaking all at the same time. "I want it all too Sam. I can't promise that I won't freak out but I won't run."

He nodded and smiled; knowing this was just as hard for her. "We'll work through it together." Andy's stomach rumbled and he laughed. "Let's feed you and we'll talk more."

They showered and walked to a diner a few blocks from Andy's place where they ate and talked for a few hours. She went back to work the next day. T.O.'s and rookies were forbidden to be involved with each other and since they had to tell Frank, he separated them as a result. She was now partnered with Shaw and Sam rotated between Diaz and Epstein. It was hard for them not to work closely together but at least they had home.

The months to her being cut loose flew by. She'd had her fair share of bad cases and rough nights but Sam was always there to help. If someone had told her when her shift started that by the end of the night she'd be begging a woman, a soldier not to shoot herself, she would've laughed. She thinks back to that morning.

_She rolled over to find Sam's side of the bed empty. As she was waking up she could smell coffee and breakfast. She slipped on Sam's discarded t-shirt and padded to the kitchen. He was standing at the stove cooking, smiling he said. "Morning McNally."_

_His smile was infectious. She walked over and wrapped her arms around him from behind. He turned to the side so he could pull her in close and still cook. He leaned down and kissed her. "Sleep ok?" She nodded. "Nervous about today?" She shook her head. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Good. Because you_ are _going to get cut loose."_

_She smiled. "I'm glad you think so." She pulled herself away and hopped on the breakfast bar next to him. Sighing she said. "Ok. So I am a little nervous."_

_He chuckled because he already knew she was. That's just how she was. He stepped between her legs and wrapped his arms around her. "Andy, you're going to do fine." Kissing her softly. "Just relax and have a good day."_

_She sighed as she pulled him close. "I wish I could ride with you today."_

_He ran his fingers through her hair. "I know but we get this..." Pulling her in and kissing her passionately. "..instead. Wouldn't you rather have this?" She scrunched up her face as if she actually had to think about it. Sam looked at her feigning shock. "Wow! Really? Ok then."_

_He starts to pull away and Andy wraps her legs around him. "Sam! You know I wouldn't have it any other way." He stood there wrapped up in her legs with his arms crossed. She tried to pull him back in and he wouldn't budge. "Sam? Come on!" Pulling on him. It took all he had not to break out in a smile. Torturing her was fun sometimes. She smirked at him. "Fine then." Unwrapping her legs from him and sliding off the counter. She reached for the hem line of her t-shirt and started pulling it off. Sam's mouthed opened at seeing her naked under his it. "I guess you don't want to help me in the shower then? It's a shame really." She pulled it all the way off and threw it at him._

_He growled and chased her down the hall. She squealed as he pinned her against the door. He kissed her passionately. "You're a tease." They had a quick but playful shower before leaving for work. Sam's attempt at breakfast was totally abandoned and he had to stop for food on the way in._

Now Andy is standing in the women's locker room staring at herself, wondering if she could really do this job. Noelle comes in to tell her Frank is waiting. "You ready?" When she sees the look on Andy's face she steps closer. "McNally?"

She shook her head and forced back the tears. "If you hadn't come in, she would've killed herself."

Noelle tried to sound reassuring. "You don't know that." Andy takes a few shaky breaths. "Come on. The boss is waiting for you." She puts her hand on Andy's back and leads her out of the locker room.

Sam is just coming in from the scene and sees Noelle leading Andy out of the locker room. He tries to catch her before she goes into Frank's office butdoesn't make it through the door in time. He sees Andy's posture and knows something is terribly wrong. He makes a run for Frank's office when Noelle stops him. "Not now Sam. She needs to get this over with."

He watches Andy, standing at Frank's desk. He can see she's not paying attention. He looks to his old friend. "Williams?"

Noelle tries to conjure up a hopeful smile but fails. She sighs heavily and tells Sam, about the death notification and everything that followed. "She did the best she could Sammy and she blames herself. Let her get through her evaluation. Ok?"

Oliver had finally wandered over and put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "She'll be fine brother. You know she's tough. Why don't we go get some air?" Sam shook his head. "Ok. Or we could just stay right here."

Andy finds herself standing before Frank waiting to hear if she'll be cut loose. She can hear him talking about the different categories they are evaluated on like report writing and uniform but she just can't get the feeling out of her stomach. It's taken over, doubt, she's starting to seriously consider her job choice. "You got very high marks across the board." Frank finally looks up to see she isn't focused or smiling. "You're not smiling."

Andy shifts and looks at Frank for the first time since she walked in his office. "I'm sorry. I'm glad it's a good evaluation." She sighs heavily. "It's just that what happened tonight really scared the hell out of me."

Frank looks at her with concerned eyes. "It should. You had a rough shift."

She shakes her head. "No. It's not just one shift sir. It's every single shift." She pulls her father's badge out of her pocket. "It's like it's all adding up. It's creeping up on me and it just took today for me to finally see it."

Frank's nervous at her tone and body language. Losing Andy McNally would be a bad blow to 15 Division. She is one of the best and brightest he's seen in years. "To see what?"

She says. "The cost of doing this job."

Frank lets out a heavy sigh. "Sit down."

Sam is pacing and watching. He doesn't like the look on Frank's face and he makes a move when he sees Andy pull her dad's badge out. Oliver knows he has to get him out of there. "Come on Sammy. She's going to be a little while." Sam reluctantly walks outside with Oliver to get some air.

He runs his hands across his face as they step outside. "Today was supposed to be a good day for her. She was nervous this morning."

Oliver nodded. "Of course she was. She wouldn't be McNally if she wasn't." A faint smile crossed Sam's lips and he nodded. "She'll be fine. We'll go to the Penny to celebrate afterwards."

Andy sits down across from Frank. Frank shifts in his seat. "So what are you saying?"

Andy's trying hard to hold back the tears. "I'm saying I'm scared of what happens when you wear your uniform too long. Like that woman tonight."

Frank responds with. "That woman lost her child tonight."

Andy can't take the look of concern from him. The concern should be for the family. "That woman screwed up her life because she couldn't take her uniform off."

Of all the rookies he's dealt with Andy has been the one that has worn her heart on her sleeve the most. "You think that's going to happen to you?"

The tears start to slide down her cheek. "It already _is_ happening to me. Every night I lie in bed weighing my decisions. That family, the pain that I brought into their home tonight. How am I supposed to just take my uniform off and forget about that?"

"You don't. You've had a heavy year Andy. It's ok to be affected by it. No one expects you to be able to just brush it off. "

She looks down at her hands. "Every bad call is like a ghost." Looking back up. "And I know firsthand what shoving all those ghosts into a closet can do to a cop."

He sits forward in his seat. "You mean your old man?"

She wipes away the tears. "I'm sorry. What if that happens to me?"

He knew he had to put every single thing he had in this. He had to convince her to stay. "Listen. The uniform does not make the cop." She looks at him disbelievingly. _"Andy listen to me, the uniform does not make the cop. You, the cop makes the uniform._ _There are as many ways to do this job as there are cops that do it."_ He reaches across the desk. "Give me the badge." He takes it, stands up and walks over to a drawer. He opens it and drops it in. "You've been carrying around your father's badge. It's a nice gesture, keeping it in the family. But you need a new one, your own badge. A fresh start but it's up to you."

He leaves her with those words and she goes to the gym to think while her friends are getting their evaluations. She walks around looking at the pictures and trophies from over the years. When she walked into Best's office she was certain she would walk out no longer a cop but maybe he was right. Just maybe she didn't have to feel like she had to live in her dad's shadow, right the wrong of his career. Then she thought of Sam, the kind of cop he was and the things he's seen and done. She wanted to be a cop he would be proud of. She heard movement behind her as her friends piled into the gym. Dov, Chris, and Traci, each announcing that they had had great evaluations as well.

She hugged them and said. "Am I the only one that's terrified?" They laughed and shook their heads.

A few minutes later they were lined up in the bull pen with the whole division standing around them. Oliver, Noelle, and Sam were standing behind them. Frank is hiding a smile as he walks back and forth in front of them. "You've all been judged. And you've been found..." Stopping in front of Traci. "Capable." Moving to Dov. "Resourceful." Then to Chris. "Loyal." Next to Gail. "Dedicated." And finally he stops in front of her. "Courageous."

Sam watches as his heart swells with pride. Oliver has become like a second father to McNally and Dov and he too is smiling, proud of his rookies.

Frank continues his walk. "So it's with great pleasure that I cut you lose today. And in the great tradition of 15 Division I say to your training officers, coppers cut those ties." The whole place erupts in cheers and clapping. Frank steps up to Andy. "Are you sure you want to be here?"

She smiles and nods. "Yes sir. I am." Frank hands her scissors to cut her own tie. Sam and Oliver watch with pride as she cuts it. Franks holds out his hands. "Ladies and gentlemen, the new and improved rookies of 15 Division."

More clapping and cheering. Oliver walks over and hugs her. Sam shakes her hand but holds it a little longer than he should. "I'm so proud of you."

Andy doesn't care now. Everyone knows they are together and they've kept it beyond professional. She steps up to him and he pulls her tight. "Thank you Sam. For everything."

He kissed the top of her head and whispered in her ear. "McNally, it was all you. You're an amazing cop and don't ever think otherwise." This brought tears to her eyes.

Sometime later they all changed and headed to the Penny to celebrate. Sam watched Andy laugh and joke with her friends. Oliver clapped him on the back. "I told you brother." Sam nodded. "Let's get them some more drinks."


	4. Chapter 4

Oliver and Sam walked over to the rookie table with another round of drinks. He was _so_ happy to see her smiling after what he had seen in Frank's office an hour ago. When he sat her drink down she wrapped her arm around him and pulled him close. They spent a couple of hours celebrating with their friends before leaving. Sam had planned a surprise for Andy. He had reserved a cabin for their 3 days off, had packed bags and bought food for the weekend.

She finally realized they were not driving towards either apartment. She looked to him. "Sam?"

He squeezed her hand lightly and smiled. "Yes?"

She looked around. "Where are we going?"

He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it lightly. "It's a surprise."

She was still confused. "But why?"

He chuckled. "We have three days off together and you just got cut loose. We're celebrating."

She smiled at the idea of spending three days alone with Sam locked up somewhere. "Can't wait."

He smiled and said. "Me either McNally. Me either." Before they left he had begged Jerry to keep Nash away from her phone during their time off. Jerry chuckled and said _I'll do the best I can brother._

An hour later they pulled up to a small but beautiful rustic cabin. Andy was taken aback. This was not something she had expected from him. "It's beautiful Sam."

He turned off the truck, climbed out and walked around to her door, opening it he held out his hand. "Not half as beautiful as you."

The familiar pink hue creeping up her neck to her cheeks as she swatted at him. " _Sam!"_

He pulled her out into his arms. "It's true so you better get used to it."

She pulled him into a kiss. "You're something else Swarek."

It was his time to blush a little. Clearing his throat he took her by the hand. "Come on."

She pulled him back. "What about our bags?"

He shrugged and smiled. "I'll come back and get them after I get you inside." She smiled and let him lead the way. He pulled the keys out of the box by the door, unlocked it and pushed the door open. She started to walk inside but he pulled her back. A look of confusion crossed her face until he bent down and scooped her up.

She squealed as he carried her through the door. "Sam Swarek put me down!"

He chuckled. "Not going to happen McNally." He kissed her deeply as he slowly walked through the door. Once through he set her to her feet again. She tried to feign unhappiness with him but the smile playing across her lips told another story. "Get comfortable." Kissing her again. "I'll be right back."

She watched him as he walked out. _I love his back side as much as his front._ She thought as she admired the way he filled out his jeans and the way his shirt clung to his shoulders. She sighed happily and decided to take a tour of the place while she waited on him. It wasn't huge but it was really well laid out. The living room had a huge fire place with a giant fur rug in front of it and a huge comfortable looking sofa. There was a TV but no cable or satellite. The kitchen was separated by the living room by a breakfast bar. She admired it's small but functional size. She and Sam could work in there together with no problem. There was a doorway off the kitchen so she went through it finding a huge master bedroom with the biggest bed she's ever seen and a fireplace in there as well. There was another door in the corner. She opened it to find an equally large bathroom with a Jacuzzi tub and a separate shower big enough for a small family.

Her heart skipped at the idea of being in there with Sam and a smiled crossed her lips. _A great weekend indeed._ She heard him come back inside and walked back out. He was carrying two duffel bags, three grocery store bags, and pulling a cooler behind him. She raised an eyebrow. "What is that?"

He chuckled. "We are going to have to eat sometime McNally?"

She met him and took some of the bags, smirking. "Are you sure?"

He laughed at her playfulness. "I'll have to keep my strength up somehow."

She bit her bottom lip as her stomach did flips. "That you will."

He chuckled. _God she's sexy as hell._ _"_ How about a fire?" She smiled and nodded. "Ok. I'll go get some wood." Andy giggled. Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head. " _Fire_ wood McNally. _Fire_ wood."

She was still giggling. "Whatever you say. I'll put the food up."

Sam shook his head. "Nope. There are surprises in there. It can all wait until I get back." She scowled at him. "I mean it McNally. Touch the cooler and it's your ass." He tried to look serious.

She batted her yes. "But you _love_ my ass." He shook his head and walked out. He thought _I really do._

He gathered as much firewood as he could carry and went inside. He found her lounging on the sofa. "Did you know there's no cable or satellite here?"

Sam nodded. "That was the beauty of it all, out in the middle of nowhere, just you and me for three days."

She smiled seductively. "I can't imagine what we'll do."

Sam shrugged. "I can't either. I brought board games just in case."

She busted out laughing and shook her head. "Like a boy scout."

He got the fire started. "I have _many many_ talents." He slowly walked over to the sofa and knelt in front of her. She turned to face him, wrapping her legs around him and pulling him closer. He reached up and caressed her face and kissed her gently. The look in his eyes right before he leaned in lit a fire inside her. She deepened the kiss and opened her mouth slightly to welcome his tongue that brushed against her top lip. Nothing had to be rushed tonight. They had three whole days to enjoy each other. He finally pulled back and brushed his nose across hers. "Would you like something to drink?"

She kissed him again. "What do we have?"

Kissing her neck he mumbled. "I brought beer and wine. And maybe some scotch, just in case."

She chuckled lightly and moaned as he grazed his teeth across her neck. " _Oh! Sam!"_ She pressed herself against him.

He pulled back and let out a shaky breath. She poked her lip out and he chuckled. "We have _all_ weekend sweetheart." He ran his thumb across her lip. "Are you hungry?

She smiled wickedly. "For you."

He shook his head. "The feeling is mutual but I thought maybe..."

She pulled her shirt off, showing her red lacey bra. "Sam, we have _all_ weekend." Reaching for his shirt and pulling it over his head. "Feed me _after_ you make love to me."

He couldn't resist a request like that. He started with light kisses on her neck, tracing them down and across her collar bones. She tasted so sweet. He whispered. " _McNally!"_ Against her soft smooth skin. He slid her down onto the rug with him. It was a lot more comfortable than it looked. He wrapped one arm around her, holding her close as his other hand slowly moved up and down her body stopping at her hip, holding her as he pressed himself into her.

She gasped at how he was making her feel. She reached between them and caressed his throbbing erection. Sam hissed at her touch. She unbuckled and unzipped his pants, sliding her hand inside. He nearly lost it when she wrapped her fingers around him and gently stroked. He reveled in her touch for a few minutes before he pulled away. He kissed his way up and down her stomach as he reached behind her to unclasp her bra, releasing her beautiful breasts. He shuttered at the sight of them, always in awe of her beauty. She bucked into him as he kissed and licked her nipples. Her movements were driving him crazier by the second. He unbuttoned and unzipped her pants, slowly sliding them off. He loved the sight of her gorgeous long tanned legs.

He slid his own jeans and boxers off before he started kissing his way back up her legs. She opened herself to him and he lightly nibbled and kissed the insides of her thighs. She moaned and bucked against him. He had all weekend to please her in every way he knew she loved but right now, this very moment, he just needed to be inside her. He kissed his way up and when he reached her mouth he slowly slid inside her. Andy gasped and pulled him into a deep kiss. She had never felt like this before. Every time with Sam felt like the first time, that's how amazing it was. He slid inside her halfway and then pulled out. He did this several times until she begged him. " _Oh! God! Sam! All the way! Please! I need you!"_

He thrust himself deep inside her, holding there for a few seconds. She dug her nails into his back and her heels into his ass, holding him in place. He growled. " _Andy. God you feel so good."_

He started moving slowly. She held onto him for dear life and begged him more. _"Harder Sam. Faster and harder! Please!"_

Again he thought _how can I resist a request like that._ So he did as she asked. He thrust himself harder, deeper, and faster into her. It was becoming too much for him but he held back until he heard her scream. " _Sam!"_

He let out a scream of his own as they came together. They held each other tight as their bodies convulsed from the incredible waves that rolled over them. After a few minutes he rolled over and pulled her on top of him. _"Jesus_ _Andy!"_ He whispered into her hair. She whimpered in to his chest as he kissed the top of her head.

They held each other tightly. Sam soon felt Andy's breathes slow which meant she had fallen asleep. He wasn't surprised; she'd had a rough day. He held her for little while, enjoying the feeling of their bodies intertwined. He finally decided to get up and put the food away. He had plans for her when she woke up. Sliding his boxers back on, he padded to the kitchen, unloading the cooler as quietly as possible, and checking occasionally to make sure she wasn't awake. He had told her to stay out of the cooler because there were surprises in there and as far as he could tell she had. He put the champagne and the chocolate covered strawberries in the fridge for now. He took the other bags to the bathroom and went to work. If anyone had ever told him he'd be doing this one day he would've laughed.

He took out the boxes of candles and sat them around the back side of the Jacuzzi. He'd never been a bath guy, not even on his worst injury days. He would just take a hot shower and lay down. Ever since meeting _her_ he imagined a romantic night in a big hot tub. Tonight would be that night. The owner had told him how to set a timer on it if he needed to. That's exactly what Sam was doing now. He chuckled to himself as he dropped the bath bubble beads in and set the timer for two hours. It would turn itself on and fill up. Next he moved to set up the IPod in the docking station he brought, having downloaded some soft jazz just for the weekend.

He randomly peeked in on her to make sure she was still asleep because he really wanted all of this to be a surprise. After about 30 minutes of preparing everything he went back and laid down beside her for little while. He set an hour alarm for himself but put it on vibrate and tucked it under his arm so he wouldn't miss it. An hour later he felt it go off and he slowly lid his arms out from under her head for the second time that night. She stirred a little but curled back up. He smiled and sighed at her beautiful form. He got the champagne and strawberries from the fridge and carried them to the bathroom, setting them up on the table beside the Jacuzzi full of water and bubbles. He lit all of the candles and nodded in approval as he looked around. _Not bad Swarek. Now you just have to get her in here._

He heard a noise from the living room. He stepped through the doorway to hear. "Sam?" The most beautiful sound in the world from the most beautiful woman in the universe.

He smiled as he watched her roll over. "Right here." He made his way back to her.

She reached up for him. "Where'd you go and why'd you let me fall asleep?"

He chuckled as he pulled her up into his arms and sat down on the sofa, brushing hair back from her face. This was one of his most favorite looks on her. "You were tired. I slept a little too. It's ok."

She nuzzled into his neck and kissed him lightly. "This place is perfect."

He ran his hand up and down her bare back. "Yeah. I think so too." He let her sit there for a few minutes, getting herself together.

She could sense that he wanted to say something. She ran her hand across his neck and down his chest. "What are thinking about?"

He chuckled. He'd never known anyone as allergic to silence as she was. He kissed the top of her head and said. "I was thinking we should take a shower and then I could feed you."

Her stomach rumbled at that exact moment. She giggled as she felt a low rumbled of laughter from Sam. "I think that sounds like a great idea." He scooped her up and started across the room with her. She squealed like earlier. "Sam! I can walk you know."

He gave her a serious look. "It's supposed to be romantic McNally. Just go with it."

She nodded and kissed him gently. Sam was always sweet to her but this was definitely a new side to him. _A romantic Sam Swarek? She could get used to this._ She was stunned into silence as he carried her into the bathroom. Her mouth dropped open at the sight. The Jacuzzi was full of bubbles, there were lit candles around the back of it, some kind of soft music playing, champagne, and chocolate covered strawberries. She gasped at everything. _Oh! My! God! Am I really seeing all of this?_

She looked up to Sam and he smiled softly as he set her to her feet. He looked a little concerned. She walked around looking at everything again before walking back to him and kissing him tenderly. She whispered breathlessly. "Wow Sam! I... Wow!" He had his hands wrapped around her hips. "It's beautiful."

He smiled and possibly even blushed a little before clearing his throat. "Not half as beautiful as you." He said for the second time tonight. They kissed for a few seconds before having to come up for air. She led him over to the tub and he helped her inside. He climbed in and sat behind her holding her close. This was far more intimate than he imagined it would be. He had never felt so happy and content in his entire life.

She broke the silence again. "Sam?"

He had his face buried in her hair. "Mmm. Hmm?"

He felt her sigh. "What are you thinking right now?"

He chuckled again. Taking a deep breath he said. "I'm thinking that I could live the rest of my life right here with you." She stuttered out a shaky breath. She had not expected this response from him. "What are you thinking right now?" He thought it was fair that he got to ask too.

He could feel her shift a little. He pulled back and opened his eyes as she looked back at him. "I'm thinking the same thing." A small smiled curling up her lips.

He leaned in and kissed her deeply. He'd been thinking about this moment for days. There was something he wanted to say to her but he was unsure of what her reaction would be. The crazy thing was this seemed right, _felt_ like the most perfect moment. He licked his lips and opened his mouth.

Andy could see he wanted to say something else but he looked a little nervous and _God! He just licked his lips!_ All she could do was smile, biting her bottom lip a little. She breathed out. " _Sam!"_

He smiled and the tenderness and love she was returning in her eyes did it for him. He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her to him. He ever so quietly whispered against her lips. " _I love you Andy."_

She kissed him and said just as quietly as he did. " _I love you too Sam."_

He let out a shaky breath and pulled her close, kissing her hungrily. She turned in his lap so that she was straddling him. They got lost in each other for a few minutes, Andy finally pulling back and resting her forehead on his. They smiled at each other, neither believing how lucky they were. "How about some of the strawberries?" She nodded and he picked one up holding it out to her. When she tried to take it he shook his head and pulled it away. She looked a little confused until he opened his mouth slightly and she followed. He held it back out to her and she took a bite.

Something inside of him stirred as he watched how seductively she wrapped her beautiful lips around the fruit before taking a bite. He smiled at the sight before leaning in to kiss her, tasting the mixture of strawberries and chocolate on her soft lips and her tongue. Then he held out the glass of champagne. She opened her mouth as he tilted it up for her to take a sip. He took a sip before kissing her again. They continued to do this until the champagne and strawberries were gone, neither speaking a word. Andy was almost dizzy from the lust and love radiating between them. Never had she imagined a scene like they were living out right now. She could feel his excitement as they shared the food and drink.

She wiggled her hips and he gripped her as he raised her up and slid her down onto himself. Both groaning as she slowly rocked her hips back and forth. It wasn't long before the waves of pleasure crashed over both of them. He held her tight as he placed light kisses on her shoulder. After she recovered she turned back and sat in his lap again. Sam turned the jets on and they relaxed.

After the Jacuzzi they finally went to bed. When Sam woke the next morning he thought it was the best night's sleep he'd had in his life and waking up next to _her_ was an amazing feeling. They didn't rush to get out of bed and when they finally did Sam made breakfast. He cooked for her the whole weekend. Every dinner was by candle light. Andy hadn't stopped smiling since they got there and in turn neither had Sam.

On their second day as they lounged on the couch watching a DVD that Sam brought she said. "Can we just stay here forever?"

He chuckled. "If that's what you want. The place _is_ for sale after all. We could live here or it could be our weekend getaway." She turned and looked at him. "We could just turn in our badges and live here for the rest of our lives."

She gave him a devilish smile and shook her head. "Swarek, we _both_ know you couldn't do that. You love being a cop too much."

He furrowed his brow and gave her the most serious and sincere look she had ever seen. "I would do it if that's what you wanted." He caressed her cheek. "I don't care where I am as long as I'm with you."

She was stunned by his comment and couldn't hold back the disbelieving look on her face. "You don't mean that."

He pulled back from her, a little hurt. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

She caressed his cheek but it didn't wipe away the hurt look. "Sam! You _love_ being a cop."

He shook his head. "You already said that. _Why is it so hard for you to believe I'd give it up for you?_ I'm not like..." He almost said _Callaghan._

Her eyes widened with shock and she tried to stand up but he held her in place and she turned away from him. " _I never said or thought you were."_

He sighed heavily because he knew he'd crossed a line. "Andy?" She wouldn't look at him. "Andy please. Come on." Still nothing. "I'm _sorry_. I shouldn't have said that. You know..."

She swung around and stared him down. "You know we're not the same. You _know_ I love you, I didn't love _him._ "

Sam nodded as she caressed her cheek. "I know. I just meant that even though I love my _job_ , I love _you_ more and would do whatever you wanted. Ok? Please don't be upset with me."

Her face softened and she nodded. "I just... I would _never_ ask you to pick me over the job. You know that right?"

Sam smiled. "Sweetheart that's just my point. You wouldn't _have_ to because there's no doubt what I'd pick." She sat looking at him for several minutes before she nodded and curled back into him. He sighed, feeling a tremendous amount of relief. He meant what he said.

After a small amount of time passed he could feel her relax again and they were back to normal. They finished the movie and Sam made to get up. Andy tugged on his hand. "Where are you going?"

He leaned down and kissed her. "I'm going to marinate the shrimp and chicken for later."

She smiled. "I can help if you want."

He kissed the tip of her nose. "Nope but thank you. This weekend is all about me taking care of you. Now if you want to entertain me while I do it then that would be great." She smiled and nodded as he pulled her up into his arms. She sat on the breakfast bar while she watched him work.

She could really get used to this Sam. "So this place is really for sale?" He nodded. "Why would anyone want to give this up?"

He answered as he put the food in the marinade. "Well, the man that owns it is a widow now. He built it for his wife like 20 years ago. With her gone he barely comes up here now." He shrugged. "So, I think it's just too much for him."

That was sad. "Did they have any kids?"

Sam nodded. "They have a daughter but she moved to Germany with her husband." Andy nodded. "He's asking _way_ less than it's worth."

She wondered silently if he was serious about buying it. "What's he asking?"

Sam searched his memory for the price. "He's asking $150,000 but I think he'd take a little less." Andy's jaw dropped and Sam laughed. "McNally, that's barely anything considering where it is and that it's on 3 acres with a creek."

She shook her head. "Wow. I mean...that's a _lot_ of money."

He smiled. "Sweetheart, it's not like you would have to pay it all at once." He shrugged. "Put a nice down payment on it and then you have a decent mortgage."

He sounds like he's really thought about this. "It's such a beautiful place. I hope he finds someone."

Sam smiled. "Yeah. I hope he does too but it would be great if we could come back here again."

She smiled and nodded. "I love it here." At that moment he knew he had to make the man an offer. It would be less than he was asking but he wouldn't insult him.

After he put the food together they went for a walk. Andy seemed really at home in the woods and he could deal with it as long as she had that spark in her eyes. We finally made it back to the cabin and I started dinner. We ate on the deck, talking and listening to the creek behind the house. Our wonderful weekend was coming to an end. As we packed up there were two things I knew about this place; one, I would be buying it and two, the next time we were here I would ask her to marry me.


	5. Chapter 5

They'd had a lot of close calls since they met. It just seemed like they were all piling up at once; the hooker detail, the solider almost shooting herself, the Landry/Bergen case, her getting shot and now today. _Today_ she got caught in a burnt out building and he hadn't been there to keep her out of trouble. He nearly went insane and almost punched his best friend when he arrived on the scene. The fire department or "hose monkeys", as Oliver likes to call them, had to call in a crew with special equipment to cut through the fallen wall. When he pulled her out of there he wanted to shake her to death and kiss her senseless all at the same time. They had an argument at the station and he walked out on her.

_Sam had been scared out if his mind. "What the hell were you thinking?!"_

_Andy never like being yelled at by anyone. "I was "thinking" that that woman needed me to save her."_

_He threw his hands up. "What about me Andy?"_

_She didn't quite understand. "What about you? You weren't even there and it's my job Sam."_

_He clenched his fists. "I know! I have the same god damn job! I need you too! Do you EVER think about that?"_ __  
  
She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't. She watched as he threw his hands up again and walked out of the locker room. She finished getting her things together and walked out, hoping he would be waiting. He wasn't and she wasn't really surprised. She knew where to find him so she walked the 4 blocks to the Penny, sitting her bag in the back of his truck before she walked inside, immediately spotting him at the bar with Oliver.

He knew the second she walked in. He could feel her, smell her; and it made his heart hurt more. He knew he shouldn't have left her but he needed some time. He finished off his scotch and held his hand up for another one, not quite ready to deal with her.

Andy stood watching him at the bar, downing what was left of the scotch in front of him and ordering another one. She didn't know what to do about them so she walked to the bar and ordered a beer and a shot of tequila. She could feel him watching her but she didn't look. They lived together now so he would have to speak to her eventually. She was hoping to get away before Oliver saw her.

Ollie wasn't sure what exactly was going on between them but he could see there was a problem. "Hey McNally!" He saw her cringe a little.

She turned to look at him. "Hey."

He clapped her on the shoulder. "How you doing?"

She nodded a little and spoke quietly. "I'm ok. A little tired."

Oliver noticed Sam wasn't looking at her, not even acknowledging her presence. He felt like he needed to intervene. "Sammy boy was really worried about you. Of course I was too but how were we supposed to know the wife would show up, much less run inside the building. You did a good job though; kept calm, kept _her_ calm and everyone got out safe." Sam was staring at him disbelievingly and he scoffed. "Got something to say Sammy?" Sam shook his head.

Andy scoffed this time and said. " _That_ would require talking. He doesn't _do_ talking, yelling yes but not talking." Sam spun around and looked at her. She was right but he would never admit it. Oliver watched in amazement at Andy's boldness. "I gotta go. Enjoy your drinks." And she walked over to the rookie table.

Oliver shook his head as he watched two of the most stubborn people he knew. "What'd you do?" He glared at Sam.

He jumped off the stool. "Why the hell does it always have to be me?" He pointed to Andy. "She's the one that ran into the damn building."

Andy was watching the interaction between Sam and Oliver. She knew it was about them and couldn't stop watching. Sam was pointing at her and Oliver was holding his hands up to Sam, trying to get him to calm down. Oliver knew he'd pushed Sam too far this time. "Sam, take a deep breath and calm the hell down. I _know_ you were worried about her but she's safe and sound. She did her job and probably saved that woman's life."

Sam sat back down and sighed, as he ran his hands across his face. "I know it's just we've just had too many close calls Ollie. I...It's a lot harder than dating a civilian, you know?" Oliver nodded, knowing full well. After all he married one.

Jerry wandered over during the conversation. "I know how you feel brother. It's not easy knowing the woman you love is out there on the streets. At least you're out there with her, can back her up."

Sam nodded, knowing it must be a little harder for Jerry. "I just didn't think it would be this hard. I can't imagine my life without her in it. I realized during our long weekend that I want to marry her. Hell! I think I've known for a lot longer. It's just...she's the bravest person I know and I get nervous at the thought of asking her." Oliver and jerry were happy for their friend. "Some days I wonder if I can still do it."

Andy had gotten up to get another drink and heard the end of what Sam said. She stopped and gasped, tears forming in her eyes. "Just like that? Because I did my job today, you don't think you can do this anymore?"

Sam jerked around to see her standing a few feet behind them, tears tolling down her cheeks. He held up his hands. "No! That's not what I said." She didn't give him a chance to explain, she turned and ran out. " _God damn it. ANDY! WAIT!"_ He ran out the door after her. She ran for his truck to get her bag. He knows that's the _only_ reason he caught up to her. He grabbed her by the arm. "Andy?"

She pulled away from him. "Don't! I get it Sam. You can't do this anymore. Fine." She grabbed her bag out of the back, almost hitting him with it.

He grabbed her by both arms and pinned her to his truck. "Andy, listen to me. You didn't hear everything I said." She struggled against him as she continued to cry. He cupped her face in his hands and tilted her up to look at him. "Andy, _I love you_ , you _know_ that." She shook her head. "Damn it! _Yes you do._ " He kissed her hard and deep then he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. "I was so scared today, almost as much as when you got shot."

Her voice came out in barely a whisper. "You said 'some days you wonder if you can still do it'. I'm not _stupid_ Sam."

He shook his head. "No. You're _far_ from it. You're brave, strong, compassionate, brilliant, and sexy as hell but definitely _not_ stupid. You know what else you are?" She shook her head. " _You_ are the woman I want to spend the _rest_ of my life with." He kissed her gently as he whispered. " _I was saying that you are the bravest woman I know_ _and that I can only hope to be as brave as you when I ask you the most important question a man can ask the woman he loves."_

Andy's heart stopped because she knew what question this was. She shook her head. "S...Sam..."

He looked her in the eye. "I'm not asking you right now. Soon though, trust me on that. I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier but I'm not sorry for _caring_ , for _loving_ you. This isn't easy for me you know. I guess now I know how my sister felt when I would go under." Kissing her. "Let's go home, ok? I just want _you_ beside _me_ in _our_ bed. Please?" She finally nodded and he kissed her again before walking her around to the passenger's side and helping her in.

Sam led her upstairs when they got home. "I know you had a shower at work but I need to grab one. Want to join me?" It was one of her favorite times with him so she nodded. He caressed her cheek and let his hands slide slowly down her arms. He leaned in planting light kisses on her neck and nibbling on her ears as he slid her shirt up over her head. He pulled his own shirt off and threw it in the corner. Andy let her fingers skate across his chest and he hissed at her touch.

He unclasped her bra letting it fall to the floor before running his hands slowly down to unbutton her jeans. Sliding his hands into the waistband, he slid them off her perfect, firm ass and down to the floor. She stepped out of them and pushed them aside. Sam was always in awe of her beautiful body, leaning down he gently sucked on her right nipple as he massaged her left breast. He watched her head fall back as she moaned. _"God Andy, I love you so much."_

She ran her hands down his chest to his belt, slowly unbuckling it and unzipping his pants. She could feel him throbbing as she eased the zipper down. He took her hand and ran it across himself, groaning and whispering. _"See what you do to me."_

Andy slid her hand inside of his boxers and gently wrapped her hand around his erection. He pulled her close, kissing her as she slowly stroked him. She whispered as she nibbled his ear. _"You like that don't you?"_ He nodded as she quickened her strokes. He leaned into her and she wrapped her hand around the back of his neck. " _Tell me you like it Sam."_

He groaned as her warm, soft hand gripped him a little tighter. " _Jesus Andy!"_ He bucked a little _. "Th...That feels so good."_ She slid her other hand down to push his jeans and boxers to the floor. He grabbed her wrist. "You keep doing that and I won't be able to hold back much longer."

She let go and pushed him towards the bed. When he reached it she pushed him backwards and he sat down hard. She crawled on to the bed, straddling him causing him to move back further. He lay down and pulled her with him, kissing her deeply. While he was distracted by kissing her, she slowly slid herself down on him and felt him shudder at their connection. She moaned his name as she slowly rocked her hips back and forth. He loved watching her breasts sway as she moved. Andy leaned down to kiss him, his tongue sliding into her mouth gently exploring. He gripped her hips as he slowly met each move she made. He could feel her getting closer and he quickened his movements, deepened his thrusts.

Andy was so close to the edge. She needed Sam to go with her so she leaned down and sucked on his pulse point, his _spot._ He groaned and gripped her harder as he drove deeper inside her. He couldn't hold back any longer as he felt her tighten around him. Frantically he moved as they she screamed his name and he groaned hers as he bit down lightly on her shoulder, the moment hitting both of them hard. She collapsed onto him as he gently kissed her shoulder and neck. "I love you."

She mumbled into his chest. "I love you too." They lay there for a while, holding each other before taking a shower. He ordered a pizza and they settled in front of the TV for a while. The next day Sam called James Parker, the owner of the cabin he'd taken Andy to. He made him an offer on it and Mr. Parker accepted. He asked if the place came furnished, knowing that all of his personal items most likely had been removed when his wife passed. Mr. Parker told him that everything did in fact come with the cabin. Sam was relieved that he wouldn't have to try to furnish it before the end of the month.

They were having breakfast a few days later when he said. "Hey babe, what do you think about going to the cabin again on our next long weekend?"

Andy's smile spread to her eyes. "Really Sam?" He nodded. "I would love it. Are you sure you don't want to go see Sarah though? I mean we haven't been up there yet."

He nodded. "That's true but my sister doesn't have a giant tub I can make love to you in." She blushed and shook her head. "What? I'm just saying."

Andy smiled. "It's up to you. I would love either trip."

Sam nodded. "Cabin it is then. Our next day off we'll take a ride up to St. Catherine's."

"Sounds like a plan." She smiled as she leaned over and kissed him.

At lunch Sam called Sarah to see if they could come up the following Friday night and spend all day Saturday with them. Sarah was thrilled that she would finally get to meet Andy. They had talked on the phone a several times and really liked each other. The week until their visit went by pretty quickly. Andy enjoyed a Saturday morning shopping trip while Sam and Sarah's husband Mark worked on things around the house. Sam's niece Madison (9) and nephew Michael (12) loved Andy. They grilled steaks, chicken, baked potatoes, and corn for dinner. They were thankful for once that they had night shift the next day since they stayed so late.

Sarah asked them to stay the night but Sam wanted to get the drive over with and sleep in their bed. Plus he'd behaved in his sister's house but he just couldn't any longer. He needed her. Sam managed to keep the closing of the cabin as a surprise. He hadn't eve told Oliver and Jerry. The end of the month came quickly and it was time for their long weekend. Like the night she got cut loose they joined their friends at the Penny for a few drinks before they left.

A little over an hour after they left the Penny they pulled up in front of the cabin. He watched her smile as he turned the truck off. "You really like this place don't you?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I really do. Don't get me wrong, I love the city but being out here, just the two of us. It's perfect."

Sam couldn't agree more. He caressed her cheek. "I love how happy it makes you." He climbed out of the truck, walked around to her side and opened her door. Nodding towards their new second home he said. "Come on beautiful."

She blushed as she elbowed him. "When did you become this guy?"

He pulled her into a kiss. "I'm pretty sure it was the day some doe-eyed rookie tackled me in an alley and tried to kiss me." She swatted him and he feigned hurt. "Oww! Just for _that_ no bubble bath for you."

Andy shrugged like it didn't affect her. "Your loss."

He picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder and carried her inside. She laughed the whole way as she tried to convince him that she wasn't happy. He unlocked the door and set her to her feet when they walked in. "I'll go grab our bags."

She really liked the Sam she was seeing and she liked that s _he_ was one of a small group that knew this side of him. Sam came back in a few minutes later with all of their things. "How about a fire? I'll put the food up."

Sam nodded. "Sounds good." He went outside and got some wood. When he came back she was in the bedroom putting their clothes up. He had the fire raging when she came back in. He pulled her down on the sofa with him. "You tired?"

She shook her head. "No. You?"

He shook his head too and leaned in to kiss her. "You're so beautiful." He ran his fingers through her hair. "I have a surprise for you."

She looked at him confused. "Sam! Why?"

He kissed her deeply. "Because I love you." He pulled an envelope out of his jacket and handed it to her.

She looked at him confused and opened it. Inside were the papers finalizing the sale of the cabin to Sam and Andy. She was completely shocked, looking back and forth between Sam and the papers. "Wh...What? Sam?"

He smiled at her. "It's ours."

She shook her head. "I can't...Sam, I can't afford this."

He shook his head. "Babe, _I_ bought this for _us."_

She jumped up and started pacing. "How? Why?"

He stood up and took her by the arms. "Andy, please stop pacing. It's ok. I thought you'd be happy."

A small smile crossed her lips. "I am but I can't believe you did this. And my name is on there too."

He nodded. "Because it's _ours._ You know I'm in this, you and me right? All in." She nodded. "This is _our_ place just like the apartment is _our_ place."

Happy tears formed in her eyes as she quietly said. "You're serious." He nodded. It took her a few more minutes to let it set in and she smiled. "Sam, this is...this is amazing." She walked around looking at it differently than she had before.

Sam followed behind her with his arms wrapped around her. "It comes furnished so we don't have to do anything with it if you don't want to."

She shook her head. "I love it and I don't want to change anything."

He pulled back the hair from her neck and brushed his lips across her warm skin. "I think it's perfect too." He ran his hands across her stomach to her hips, pulling her closer. "Hungry?" She nodded. "Come on." He walked her into the kitchen. He made them a fruit plate and opened a bottle of wine. "Want to go set by the fire?"

"Yep." She walked behind him, holding onto his belt loops. They pulled cushions off the sofa and lay down on the rug in front of the fire. This weekend was just as romantic as the first time. He cooked for her, they took bubble baths, and she even got him to venture out into the woods. Their next long weekend would be on her birthday and that's when he would ask her. They reluctantly left late Sunday afternoon to head back to Toronto and work. Sam started ring shopping as soon as they got back.

He found a platinum 1 karat diamond, simple and beautiful. He showed it Oliver, Jerry, and Traci one night while the other rookies had Andy distracted at darts. Traci practically jumped up and down. "She's going to love it."

Sam smiled. "Thanks Nash."

Oliver shook his head. He couldn't believe that Sam was finally doing it. "You guys going back to your favorite cabin?"

Sam nodded. "And it's not just our favorite cabin, it's _our_ cabin."

Oliver's jaw dropped. "You bought a cabin? _And_ you didn't tell us?"

Sam shrugged. "Yes and I didn't tell you because it was a surprise for Andy. I wanted her to know first. Now she does and now you guys do too. Be nice and we might let you borrow it for a weekend."

Jerry laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. "Thanks brother. So, when are you going to ask her?"

He turned to make sure she was still beating Dov at darts. "Her birthday is at the end of the month _and_ it's during our long weekend."

Oliver shook his head. "All the years of being around me has finally rubbed off on you buddy."

Sam smirked. "Yeah. I'm _sure_ that's what it is."

Andy walked up and slid her arm around Sam. "Sure what is?"

Sam shook his head. "Ollie thinks that his romantic side has finally rubbed off on me."

She giggled and shook her head. "I'm not sure where it came from but I definitely like it." She kissed him and he pulled her closer, garnering a throat clearing from their friends, which caused both of them to laugh.

Andy's friends planned a little party for her after shift on her birthday weekend. Everyone met after shift and had a lot of drinks. Sam and Andy didn't drink much because they had a long drive after the party. Sam had also requested an extra day for them since he knew they would be late getting up there. He carried her in like he always did but this time _after_ he carried their bags in. He'd been able to talk Mr. Parker into meeting a florist at the cabin and leaving bouquets of Tulips, Orchids, and Lilies around the house.

When he carried her in he heard her gasp as she took in the flowers. " _Sam!_ "

He set her to her feet and pulled her in for a kiss. "I love you. Happy Birthday sweetheart!" He watched her walk around and smell all of the flowers.

She had a huge smile on her face when she turned around. "Thank you Sam. They're beautiful."

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, leaning in to whisper in her ear. "Not as beautiful as you."

She turned around and wrapped her arms around him, crushing her lips to his. "Take me to bed."

He gave her a dimpled grin. "Yes ma'am." And he scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom. They made love all through the night and into the next morning, sleeping for a few hours at a time. They finally rose around 2:00 p.m. and Sam cooked for her. After they ate they took a walk in the woods. He was starting to not hate nature as much.

For dinner that night he made lasagna, garlic bread, and a salad. They ate and talked, while music played quietly in the background. Sam wanted the moment to be as romantic as possible. "Feel like a bubble bath?"

She smiled and nodded. "Definitely." He nodded and went to the bathroom to start the water. He lit the candles and set out the towels, hiding the ring between them. He went back to Andy and cleaned up the dishes, not letting her help.

He took her by the hand and led her to the bathroom. He melted at the smile that crossed her lips when she saw everything. He slowly undressed her, kissing and caressing her as he did so. He undressed himself, climbed in the tub and then helped her in. He held her close to him as they sat in silence, enjoying the heat and jets.

An eternity later she said. "I'm really glad we have this place. I love it."

Sam sighed. "Me too." He turned her sideways in his lap so he could see her face. He kissed her lightly. "I love you Andy."

She smiled and returned his kiss, but deepened it. "I love you too."

He slid his hand between the towels and pulled out the ring. He really thought he'd be nervous when the moment came. "I've never been great with words and feelings. But I _know_ how I feel about _you_ , about _us._ " He took her hand and slid the ring onto her finger. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." A smile spread across her lips. "Will you marry me Andy?"

She nodded and kissed him. "Yes. Yes. Yes."

He smiled and chuckled. "You've made me _the_ happiest man on Earth."

 


End file.
